Normali-tea: builders

Reali-tea: first cup of the day

Mortali-tea: earl gray with arsenic

Cruel-tea: you make a brew then discover there's no milk

Trage-tea: you make a brew with milk and discover that the milk is sour

Speciali-tea/Surreali-tea: tea with mushrooms

Superficiali-tea/Mundani-tea: shit tea in a polystyrene cup with lukewarm water and UHT milk

Morali-tea: tea with soya milk

Sinceri-tea: tea made properly in a teapot

Frivoli-tea: tea with that fancy sugar you get in posh restaurants

Duali-tea: tea and coffee in the same cup

Nump-tea: when you forget to put the water in

Electrici-tea: the last cup in a teapot that's been brewing for half an hour

* * *

I spent 3 hours lying in bed this morning coming up with these! hmmmm...

feel free to add your own :)

it's been a while since I posted...

this is because for the last few weeks, without me even quite realising it, my party-mojo switch has suddenly been flicked back to ON, which has seen the welcome reinstatement of some of my more deviant qualities which had been gathering dust during my period of fairly sedate post-summer recuperation...but lordy does it feel good to be out on the tiles once again!

so let's see...

there have been magical Jewish weddings in Bethnal Green, decadent fashion week parties with trannies dancing on pianos, beautiful girls riding carousel horses, Massive Attack gigs, late-night cider-tastings in Brixton pubs, Hot Gay Boy raves in Dalston, Gypsy Hotels, lots of getting my cock out, murder on the dance floor, getting engaged (again) to my evil husband, Wreck n Roll circuses and bloody-thirsty BBQ's...

there has also been a lot of time spent plotting ROUNDHOUSE (!) and tinkering in the studio with Nik, planning our forthcoming single launch (v exciting) and working on what I think is possibly our best song to date...all good shit.

and other news: first mate Jakey, after 3 years on board has left the boat to join Maria in the Shepperton, which is a sad-making affair, although one thing I've learned since I've been Captain of MTB is that it's important to feel glad for people when they move on; like a mama bird watching her baby birds leaving their debauched floating nest! in his place is smiley, sparkly Becky who makes killer butternut squash soup and has already cleaned the bathroom...so far so good ;)

feel truly dreadful today as a result of me and Gus's gloriously successful blagging it into Florence + The Machine last night (we is genius) and subsequent crashing of her hotel after party. can't remember getting home but I do remember the sun rising. ouch. luckily all I have to do today is to make it to the swimming pool and cobblers, before hammering myself into some kind of shape before this female producers salon/social do this evening. right now too hungover to make a cup of tea, but I've got five hours until I've got to be there so it may yet still be ok!

this week I have mainly been wining and dining with Joe all over down and catching up with friends in the form of cackling pub sessions with Trash City gals Alex F, Nat & Denise and drunken dinners with exploding borsht with the much-missed Kate Friend...

...have also been suffering from insufferable writers block with the two new Hooligan Night songs me and Nik are in the middle of writing, for which I have written the most hook-tastic, catchy choruses but for some reason am absolutely stumped on the verses...too many words and phrases running round my head...too many rhythmic possibilities and not a hint of a tune...infuriating!

hoping to crack it today: muses! come n help yr girl out of a fix!

aint he amazing??? if you didn't know us, you might think we were classy...

sometimes it's the damndest things that can cheer a girl up.

last weeks funk was broken after a particularly raucous night on saturday, when I performed the Pink Guitar Show at TG - never in a million years would I have thought I'd get the fetish crowd chanting "I love Rock n Roll" back at me, but readers, it happened...this was followed by many tequila, some seriously reckless dancing/shameless exhibitionism and finished at a party at Cordy House where I took a spectacular tumble off a crate of beer, in an attempt to pull off an exuberant Rock n Roll dance move on Alex Wreckage (in retrospect I probably should've given him a heads up first).

woke up on sunday with a massive lump on my head, a swollen elbow and a smile on my face; my sense of self firmly back in place.

;)

september...apparently...and I am broken, although I do not believe that the damage will be permanent.

crawled out of bed at 5pm today to scavenge in the kitchen, having been unable to do anything all day but quiver and mewl like a kitten...

the last few days have taken on a hallucinatory quality in my memory...brilliantly coloured and dream-like, with occasional disturbing details that loom like distorted faces in a crowd...

I don't quite have the strength yet to recount the details just yet, but they involve me and Joe managing not only to get thrown out of a hotel room, but a house party too over the course of the 72 hours.

tidy!

and here's a pretty picture by the ever-brilliant Matt Brindle to cheer myself up:

this week I will mainly be working out how best not to kill myself over the next few days:

Thursday: Pockets' 50th Birthday @ The Boogaloo (Shane McGowan's pub)

Friday: Gus's Speakeasy @ The 20th Century Theatre (sponsored by Hendricks gin)

Saturday: Emily Evis' wedding @ Worthy Farm, Pilton

Sunday & Monday: CaRNiVaL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so dead.

...this amazing pic by Shamil Tanna for Q magazine...

good morning mild vodka hangover on a tuesday morning...still loving my 'lost' august...the lazy days are blurring into one and it's a delightful feeling.

saw DM at the hospital last night, luckily although the break(s) were bad, they were clean (i.e not crushed or multiple) and the operation to put them back together was successful, so she wont have to wear a horrible metal cage around her leg and be in hospital for 3 weeks as first reported, but should be out on friday, which is bloody fantastic. it's also very likely that the police are going to catch whoever did it, as it happened on the Portobello Rd which is CCTV-tastic. I guess aspects of our surveillance culture might be good for something after all! she was very chirpy and absolutely out of her tree on ketamine and morphine (!) but I found the sight of her all broken in a hospital bed rather heartbreaking and pretty shocking. however the loony girl was still planning her outfit for Carnival this weekend which did make me smile :)

later on me and Gus's quiet night in got high-jacked by Aceface, drinking cocktails on Maia's boat further down the pontoon. we duly tripped over and ended up slugging back cocktails and singing Tom Waits songs until 3, which turned out to be exactly what I was in the mood for doing.

I'm liking the way life is meandering at the moment...after I managed to escape from Edinburgh on saturday, Joe picked me up from Kings X and we headed straight to the 'Bella for fried fish from the Moroccan food stall on Goldbourne Rd. we then strolled down to the Rock N Roll Public Library under the Westway to catch Mick Jones's acoustic set, before Joe headed off to watch adrenalin junkie sporting event courtesy of Red Bull at Battersea Power Station and I toddled off to a gig in Shoreditch. while legging it (late) across Hoxton Square on my way to the gig, I noticed with interest a commotion coming round the corner, in the form of 200 or so revelers marching through the streets headed up by a gaggle of cape-wearing trannies, headed up by our very own Ryan Styles. I arrived backstage laughing my arse off. got waylaid in a bar on my way home after bumping into an old friend, in the form of naughty Amechi, missed the last tube and had to be rescued by Joe once again, valiantly in his 4by4. spent the next day basking up on the Heath in the glorious sun in the company of Stah, Marina, Chloe and the Armstrongs...

feel like I'm finally getting the hang of this Summer thing...it's all about flow coupled with constant gentle drunkeness...off to Kilburn today to buy some plastic bananas for my Carnival costume, see my little sis and then maybe some spa action before heading back to the hospital to check in on the Mouse...

the life, it rolls on...

just found out that Danger Mouse got knocked off her bike by a hit-and-run driver last night. apparently the driver stopped to see what he'd hit and when he clocked it was a person, drove off, running over her leg in the process.

isn't that one of the shittest things you've ever heard???

poor, poor DM is stuck in hospital now for the next few weeks and then has to spend the next 3 months with her leg in plaster. going to hospital tonight to see her after they've finished pinning it all back together.

how totally and utterly rubbish. although on the bright side, I suppose it could have been a lot, lot worse.

:(

wandering in my knickers around the boat, over which the entire contents of my wardrobe seems to have exploded, with a head empty of all thought aside from what to pack for my imminent trip to the Isle Of Mull...Florence & The Machine is warbling in the background and everywhere I go I leave a cloud of shamefully expensive and utterly lovely La Petit Gratin perfume, that makes me feel like an orange tree in full bloom...

I forgot about the simple things. good they are.

riding the night train to Inverness tonight with my mad sisters, apparently there's a bar onboard :)

catch you in the near my dears.

Blues, off on her holidays, over and out xxx

so apparently in a particularly deranged state of sleep-deprivation I managed to book myself and my little sister onto a lastminutedotcom flight to Sardinia.

I know this because I woke up there on thursday.

definitely one of the weirder side-effects I've ever had from insomnia...still beats frustrated hysterical weeping any day!

and you cannae argue with a hefty dose sun, sand, seafood and sleep afterall.

back in town now, patting myself down and examining the fuses on my internal circuit board to survey the current state of damage/repair...

I managed to tackle my inbox today which is definitely an improvement from last week.

I am sickymonster.

taken out mid-week struck down with a vicious case of post-bank holiday burn out crossed with swine flu with added PMT. totally rubbish.

however two days in bed has allowed me to read To Kill A Mockingbird from cover to cover. without a doubt one of the best books I have ever written - can't believe I haven't read it before??

however had a visit from cutie Matt Brindle today and have bought hyacinths which are cheering me up and soon Mr Rush is coming round to take me to the movies and tuck me in so is not all bad.

"ah...the polo mint...it makes my nose feel so fresh and cleeeeeeeaaaaaaan!!!!"



photo by Matthew Brindle

another drop-dead image from the rather brilliant Matthew Brindle. Mentalist fringe jacket by Rachie.

eek!

and today's show n tell is...

Hooligan Night's debut MUSIC VIDEO!!! directed by the wonderful Hugo Levien and starring Trash City baybee!!! :)

photo by the brilliant Matthew Brindle. Giant Pink Guitar by Mutoid Waste Co. costume and glitterbitchin on Guitar by Rachel Freire. hair by Robin Harvey. make-up by Natalie O'Connor. concept/T&A by Blues.

:D

it's funny when you've been riding a bit of a party train for a while (one week n counting now on the white wine express) how the edges of life soon become rather fuzzy...hence the fractured postings, otherwise I'd never remember what I've been up to.

even thursday afternoons rehearsal turned into a bit of a Honky Tonk knees-up round the old joanna and ended up with late night ramblings with the lovely Nik and Emily over Rioja at La Galicia and later still, drunken motorbike rides along the river...

had very bizarre day down the market yesterday. wore my new black and gold star frock I bought at the knock-off market in China. I always considered it rather a nice dress but for some bizarre reason it seemed to have a completely extreme effect on people - I kept getting stopped in the street by people exclaiming: "Great dress!!!...Fierce frock!!!...Oh my God where did you get it...Argh!" even the ice-cool shop assistants in designer vintage Mecca One Of A Kind who normally studiously ignore anyone who isn't an A List celeb, all fell on me as I strolled in the door, going into ecstasies over this really rather normal dress and proceeded to play Barbies with me for the next hour, pulling out designer couture frocks from their Alladins Cave of treasures and making me parade around the shop in them. weird shit. it was all entirely delightful but genuinely baffling. even the Rude Boys had something to say: "That's a niiiiice dress gal!" and I wasn't even wearing shoes at that point. bouyed up by the dress-worship I proceeded to spend my last pennies in the world on gratuitous and unnecessary leather wear, spent a few hours gossiping with the stall holders and bumping into people, before heading to the Porchester for some girl-time with Mouse before heading to the 20th Century Theatre for soundcheck with Aceface and a lovely grand piano.

on arrival I foolishly began to drink on an empty stomach and was delighted to discover that the bar for the night was being run by Emma, Coco, Evi and the rest of the New Cross girls all looking amazing dressed in Prangstas finest finery! the rest of Gus's Speakeasy night was a marvelous affair from start to finish. the theatre is ridiculously beautiful anyway but Gus had done a fine job of turning it into a Prohibition-era den of iniquity. the acts were all wonderful (Kitty Bang Bang doing Fat Sam's Grand Slam was my personal favorite) and loads of people came, including my ma and pa (!) who had the dubious honour of seeing me stumble onto the stage, wearing a kimono, see-thru neglige and feather headress and proceeding to belt out some of the Blue-est Blues songs in my foul-mouthed repertoire, whilst swigging theatrically from a bottle of Gin (eek!). luckily they seemed to rather like it and left with a smile on their faces...

the rest of the evenin was a bit of a blur..there was some high-kicking flapper dancing, noise-making, after-hours jamming around the grand and rather a lot of cocktails. ended up at a party at an amazing recording studio in Holland Park with not one, not two, but three piano maestros all taking turns on the keys, while me and Mouse spun around on wheelie chairs and demanding 'Chopsticks'. me and Joe had a stupid row (Gin innit) and the sun rose before it was time to stagger to my Mum and Dads where Joe had a rendez-vous with my Pa at 9pm to go to a bike show out of town.

the evil devil inside me that woke up in my mums bed at 2pm this afternoon thinks that this is hilarious.

apparently there's one more party to go to tonight under the Westway and then I am in major detox mode next week...I like all this frolicking but it does leave me feeling a bit wonky...I like things on a more even keel these days and knowing it bit more where I'm at in the scheme of things, however I made a deal with myself to have a blow-out this week and that is what I have done.

now where did I leave those threads...?

laters x

this week has mostly been sunkissed and white wine sozzled.

been a bit lazy and been gettin my rocks off on white wine and sunshine to reward myself for finally getting both the Hooligan Night demo, debut video and Guitar shoot in the bag last week! I have mostly been hangin out in parks, on street corners and lounging on deck like a cat. mmmmm...lazin goooood...

walked around Cheslea yesterday in barefeet blissing out on the lilac blossom and suckin on a lolly, then had all my little ghost train buddies round for dinner on deck last night, which was lovely although I was annoyed that I got too pissed to explain the concept behind the vampire show properly which was the ultimate purpose of the meeting: "Yeah...s'gonna be brilliant...an' we is all gonna fly...and killing people...yeah! hic." note to self: must try harder to be convincing creative director in the future.

what else? saw Stah's fab new show on sat and kicked back on Brick Lane on Demelza's market stall...ended up having an accidental and fortuitous meeting, on one particularly sunny afternoon on Portobello, with a certain person who is involved with a certain Global comic book super-group, who was rather taken with the idea of my Giant Pink Guitar and accompanying efforts to transform myself into an all-singing, all-crime fighting comic book superhero and expressed an interest in getting involved in the project, which, needless to say, would be muy exciting if it comes to pass...there have also been one or two hilarious late-night fly-postering sessions around Brick Lane and Shoreditch...just me and Demelza and a bucket of wallpaper paste...makes for a surprisingly entertaining night out actually!

feel a bit fuzzy headed today. too many white wine spritzers. right. cup of tea in the bath then I'm off to rehearse my song for Gus's Speakeasy tomorrow night!